I see you. My husband used to weaponized his grumpy moods being around his family too. I was the one being social and hanging out with his family whilst he hid on his phone and did absolutely no emotional labor. Now, I'm done.
I continue to be incredibly grateful for your astute analysis of the realities of abuse. Now several years out from my divorce, I am beyond grateful to spend the holidays quietly, in peace, alone. I can go for walks in nature and listen to birds. I can read and listen to music. I can bask in my home which is free of violence, and alcohol, and drugs. The terror never fully goes away when one has a dangerous ex, but it is so much more distant.
Some of my colleagues (who do not know my history) view me with pity because I will be alone. I wish more people understood that when you come from a childhood and a marriage where the holidays are nothing but violence and dread, being alone for the holidays is a delight.
Thank you for your beautful work.i hope you and your kids have a wonderful Christmas.
Honestly, I hate holidays. Pressure to be happy and cheerful, but at the same time arguments and fights. It was like that in my parents' home. Nowadays, I try not to make too much fuss while still nodding to the season. My child is almost a teenager and I'm looking forward to skipping it altogether.
I really agree with you. There are plenty of us who might choose to be put in a medical coma this season of it was practical. Be well, we’ll get through it.
I see you. My husband used to weaponized his grumpy moods being around his family too. I was the one being social and hanging out with his family whilst he hid on his phone and did absolutely no emotional labor. Now, I'm done.
May you enjoy peace and contentment this season and this year!
I continue to be incredibly grateful for your astute analysis of the realities of abuse. Now several years out from my divorce, I am beyond grateful to spend the holidays quietly, in peace, alone. I can go for walks in nature and listen to birds. I can read and listen to music. I can bask in my home which is free of violence, and alcohol, and drugs. The terror never fully goes away when one has a dangerous ex, but it is so much more distant.
Some of my colleagues (who do not know my history) view me with pity because I will be alone. I wish more people understood that when you come from a childhood and a marriage where the holidays are nothing but violence and dread, being alone for the holidays is a delight.
Thank you for your beautful work.i hope you and your kids have a wonderful Christmas.
Thank you so much for your note Elizabeth. And for reading the piece. Take pleasure in a peaceful Christmas, and I will be with you in spirit.
Honestly, I hate holidays. Pressure to be happy and cheerful, but at the same time arguments and fights. It was like that in my parents' home. Nowadays, I try not to make too much fuss while still nodding to the season. My child is almost a teenager and I'm looking forward to skipping it altogether.
I really agree with you. There are plenty of us who might choose to be put in a medical coma this season of it was practical. Be well, we’ll get through it.
I envy bears and their hibernation. Or to fly on a magic carpet to a place where there was no holidays.
Thank you, take care 💜
I've just read an essay by a German author and journalist who now lives in Istanbul. And nobody gives a straw about Christmas over there.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/dec/24/breakup-living-alone-partner-berlin?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other